Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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