don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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