you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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