I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
