all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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