her vagine was all disorganized.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
