Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
