let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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