maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
