It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
