How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i barfeds in our rink
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You made out with two different species that night
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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