Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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