I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize