remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
