we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
