Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you win again, gameday.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
