Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
