He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
