Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
