wrigley field is MILF paradise
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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