you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
