it wasn't lemon gatorade
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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