I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
