oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
