You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
