well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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