I'm really into asian looking animals
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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