Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
