He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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