do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
