I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
