i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
