I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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