My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
