I hate your face
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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