I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
