hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize