tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
