Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
