like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
