Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize