I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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