It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
