talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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