There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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