it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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