What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
