Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
