you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You smell like stripper and shame
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
