it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i would punch a child for taco bell
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Randomize