I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
