I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
