my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize