I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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