Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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