there's paper in my vomit.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
