Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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