The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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