she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
