Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
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