I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize