Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
farters have to be the big spoon...
bring money and cleavage
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Randomize
