got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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