my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
