never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
